America, The Beautiful

A few months ago, Jon and I had the opportunity to go see the Petrified Forest National Park, and let me tell you, it was BREATHTAKING. Sometimes, Arizona can be surprisingly beautiful, even with its scraggly desert and STD forests.

Whenever one goes to a state park, one has to appreciate the overpriced tourist shops. I DIED when I saw this grow a therapist; mainly because my dad is a trauma consultant. 

Moving on, BEHOLD, The Painted Desert in all its splendor.

Look at my seemingly ethnically ambiguous husband... Mexican? Native American? My Delicious Caramel Man? 

Okay, I'm not going to lie, I was really excited to see "Newspaper Rock" and when we got to the site I found out, to my uttermost dismay, that I could not see the petroglyphs close up. My lovely camera does not have an expensive enough lense to be able to capture the images that far away, so live vicariously through Jon and my little sister viewing them through old school binoculars.

Blue Mesa at Dusk.

Okay, seriously? I'm STILL laughing. 

This picture is for my mother. But can you appreciate the scale of that petrified tree? This tree is actually the largest *known* tree at the park; of course, after decades of plundering I'm surprised they had any petrified wood left. I'm not going to lie, going to this park was depressing on account of the fact that it has lost 80% of its former glory.

Happy March 2nd!! Its a Yuma/Yuma Mormon thing... you wouldn't understand.

My sister, the siren.

I will probably pay handsomely for posting this online, but THIS is for your viewing pleasure. Feast your eyes bloggees, on the deliciously contorted facial expression of a beautiful maiden who will express much angst when male suitors behold this image. 

That concludes this adventure. I recommend going to the Petrified Forest not only for the trees, which is a good thing as there are hardly any left so you would be disappointed, but for the numerous geographical beauties. There is a hiking trail through Blue Mesa that would be so incredibly lovely. Also, there are giant dinosaurs in Holbrook, Arizona that are really fun to see. 

Seriously, everyone loves rocks.

And Dinosaurs.

And Mexican Food. 

Unlike Disneyland, this is one family trip that will not destroy your bank account

Love,

a Poor Traveler 

Reflections

Once upon a time....

I looked like THIS.*

Fast forward about a year.

Now, I look like this.

Life is but a heartless b*tch has been kind to me.

STAY AWAY FROM TACO BELL.

Also, I am now accepting applications for a workout partner. 

*this image was taken for my bellydancing portfolio. It is not to be confused with my Halloween Babylonian whore costume.

I EFFING LOVE GARBAGE TRUCKS

so....... you might think a dump truck is a dump truck is a dump truck.

WELL, YOU ARE WRONG.


My apartment complex has the most awesome dump trucks. ever.

Like seriously, I've never seen such beautiful garbage trucks before.

THEY ARE DECORATED LIKE TIGERS.

If you do not find this amazing/amusing/fabulous, then you are probably a troll.

Photographic evidence:

Easily Delicious, and Deliciously Easy.

okay. we've all been there.

it's like... 8:30... and you haven't made dinner...

or maybe you are just really poor and you just can't afford lost of ingredients.

or maybe, you are just really poor.
like me.

anyways, I have some recipes for you.

KYLIE'S AWESOME KIDNEY-TACOS

I'm just kidding. There are no kidneys in the tacos, but there are kidney beans.... and they are awesome, and I did invent the recipe...

Alright, All I had were canned goods, and some tortillas that needed to be used.
I looked in the panty, nothing looked good... I saw some kidney beans, thought of the tortillas, and BAM idea. It seriously is ridiculously simple

Ingredients:

• 1 can of kidney beans
• 1 can of rotel (it is like salsa)
• 1 tiny can of green chilies
• a dash of Chili powder
• a glob of honey
• a spritz of fresh lime juice (you know that green bottle you got for one recipe and you've never used it since and now it is turning into an inconsumable organic liquid)

Directions:

 

1. throw everything in a pan
2. heat it up
3. taste test it, add more ingredients if neccessary
4. put it in your tortilla
5. eat it

total prep time? like... 5 minutes. TAKE THAT 30 MINUTE MEALS!!!



KYLIE'S BLOATED DEAD SEALS

that title is a lie, there are no bloated dead seals in this recipe.
but there is chicken...
It should be called Kylie's Stuffed Chicken Biscuits... but that would be practical...
and I'm not.....

Ingredients:

• breadcrumbs
• butter
• garlic powder
• package of refridgerated rolls (like pillsbery biscuits)
• chicken
• cream cheese

Directions:

1. take cream cheese, let it soften to room temperature
2. mix in cooked (boiled) chicken that has been shredded (with your hands you rip it into little pieces)
3. add garlic powder, taste, add more if you need it
4. take rolls out of package, flatten with hand
5. put large spoonfull of filling into roll
6. press down around it so it looks like a ravaoli
7. dip in melted butter
8. roll in breadcrumbs
9. place on cookie sheet
10. cook for time alotted on biscuit packaging

I'm sorry there are no pictures... I will add them later

Confession

 being in Utah makes me miss Mexican food.

seriously.

the above picture is real food eaten in Mexico, made by REAL Mexicans.

I freaking love Mexico.

 I am addicted to Dr. Pepper.

 I love this guy.

 I'd kill for some sushi right now.

I have a Big Bang Theory problem.

I'm also turning lazy.

I don't even cook the cookie dough...

I just eat it... and notice the milk? and no cup?

guilty.

(but just that day.... I promise) 

I love Jon in buckle jeans.

they are the equivocation of men lingerie 

 On this trip to New Mexico, Jon had to deal with Ashlee and I farting in the car for like 10 hours.

There really is no confession for the following pictures, I just needed to fill you with warm fuzzies before I unleashed my biggest confession.

Jon and I aren't moving back to Arizona at the end of the summer.

We are going to be Utards.

we just signed an 11 month lease.

....

the good news is that we are going to come visit in August.

and also... we have a guest bedroom.

so you can visit!!

Critics call it CAT-TACULAR

This blog is about my (or rather, Madam Cat's) adventures with catnip.

Petco. June 6th, 2012. Standing in the Cat Treat isle, holding two brands of catnip.

the purpose?

Keep Cat occupied while Mom (me) is at work.

why?

To prevent another calamity such as the Great Yarn Blanket Disaster of May 2012.

catnip: "induces exercise and playfulness in cats."

that was the biggest understatement. EVER.

Here is the photo journal of the first 4 hours.

 what iz dis?

 DIS IS AMAZING

 smellz sooo gooooooooood

 Mom, you have to twy dis.

 HERE MOM. TWY DIS. 

 I MUST ROLLZ IN DIS.

 ROLLING.

 Effects are kicking in.

TTHHHIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGSSSSS

ssssssssssssssssssssssslow

downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

 and den go cwazy,

 MOM NO I NEEDZ DIS.

 WHAT IZ HAPPENING???

 is this going to last forever??????

 ARRRGGGGGG

my paw is dissolving!!!!

 3 hours later

 still going strong,

 Cat tested, pet parent approved.

 EXHAUSTED. 

 JK!!!!

LOL.

 THEY SEE ME ROLLIN'

 THEY HATIN'

 my preciouss.ssssss.....

 WE NEEDZ IT.

 WE WANTZ IT.

 four hours later.

toy holding up relatively well considering amount of stress and trauma.

minor stitch fraying. 

 and then it begins.

and that concludes Cat's kitty-weed delirium.