Tuesday, December 20, 2011

"He said, I said, that He did in fact say what I said, when he said it" nonsense. The Story of Us

Once upon a time... I was having a bad day. So I called my friend Rees to rescue me from myself (and my house). Rees with his sidekick, Norman, came to do the only thing there is to do when life is a b%#@$ .... we went dumpster diving for krisy kreme donuts. It was a successful mission. I was wearing my friendship algorithm shirt from my beloved Chelsea (whom I love more than words can say, I lived with her and she was my best roommate. period) and my hideous orange cutoff sweatpants from Areopostale with my super sweet converse knockoffs that had my life quote on them. curious about my life quote? its from Lord of the Rings... I'm kind of insane about Lord of the Rings. I even took a class on it at ASU; Ents, Orcs, and Hobbits: Tolkien's Middle Earth Vikings. I highly recommend the class~ it is simply wonderful. Anyways, what I had written around my shoes was:

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

It is rather shoe appropriate, is it not?
Well then we went back to the house of Rees to enjoy our spoils... before they spoiled... and lo and behold upon our arrival, a stranger arrived at the very exact moment. Rees went to greet him and I simply stared. The stranger, who I later learned was a brother of Matt's, was no stranger at all. He looked at me and before I could let my subconscious find the socially appropriate way to say it...... I simply said "I know your face."
He gave me this really weirded out look, perplexed if you will. He stared at me for probably 5 minutes mulling it over in his mind, I could totally see the cogs turning.
Then I remembered, I had meet him as a wee little freshman in college on a hike in Palm Canyon. He handed me a hot dog after the hike, we exchanged maybe one or two sentences. It had nearly been two years since the hike. Kylie has an awesome memory.

ps. on an embarrassing sidenote, Matt got stuck on a canyon wall when trying to climb up it and lost his mancard and as his future sister I cannot in good conscious not let the world know.

Jon was down for the summer for work with his cousin Ryan who is a lovely person who I thought hated me, turns out he was just exhausted and I was wasting his sleep time. sorry Ryan.

So we talked half the night, this boy from Yuma named Jon, the group I initially came with, and me. I was myself. totally charming. hilarious. wonderful. etc. etc. Then I left.... and nothing really happened..... 
but then nothing happened after that either.

A few weeks went by... I wanted to go out, but instead I was too lethargic and boring so I logged on to my good ol' social network. I stumbled upon Jon.... on chat... so.... I 'chatted him up' and played the whole, I'm-really-cute-and-coy-and-charming. It totally worked. the conversation may have gone a little something like this:

*actually, it went exactly like this... I cut and past from my facebook inbox.

    • hey you
    • how is life?

  • August 13
    Jon Kirkland
    • hey yourself

    • I bet it is pretty spectacular since being ejected and surviving

  • August 13
    Jon Kirkland
    • it still is
    • i actually haqd this funny thought the other day when i was driving with a few other people that i might have escaped death like in final destiny, and that death would more than likely be trying to catch up with me
    • i warned them to ride with me at their own peril

    • haha I do like your sense of humor
    • I've never seen a final destiny.
    • However, I completely understand

      • August 13
        Jon Kirkland
        • i wouldn't recommend it...i only saw it because i worked at blimpies and during slow hours we would just watch the tv
        • you watch whatever comes on cable
        • plot" they should have died in a car accident but survived...and how death always gets whats his

        • I don't have time for tv, unfortunately. I also live in a household where 5 girls claim dominion over out two TVs. I'm pretty much screwed unless I want to watch 16 and pregnant

      • August 13
        Jon Kirkland
        • bahahaha
        • nice word play on "screwed" and "16 and pregnant"

        • and I thought you didn't notice....
        • are you back in Yuma?

          • August 13
            Jon Kirkland
            • nah, i stayed up at reec's and matt's to work tiull i have to go to school
            • i'm heading back sometime this weekend
            • and i'll touch and go in yuma and head to tucson

            • I wouldn't mind hanging out again, you seem like a pretty fly cat.

          • August 13
            Jon Kirkland
            • anything in mind?

            • nope. I'm far to easy going and decison making is hard for me

          • August 13
            Jon Kirkland
            • you too seem like quite the intriguing person

                • I'm almost like a man. mentality wise. that is why it is so easy to talk to me
                • don't worry, I held on to a few of my feminine traits

              • August 13
                Jon Kirkland
                • i hope you dont tke this wrong but if ever there was a chameleon of personas...you would take the title

                • hahaha
                • I'm not offended I get that alot
                • what personas have you seen

              • August 13
                Jon Kirkland
                • well theres the "one fo the guys" persona when everyone was talking, and then the " yeah but i'm very much a woman" persona
                • hold on i just got a call

                • okay.

                  BLAH BLAH BLAH more facebook flirting crap

                  then i made a move to be like "hey idiot. I want dinner."

                  • August 13
                    Jon Kirkland
                    • haha, when i was younger i wanted to be three things:
                    • an indian, a garbage truck driver ( get to use that claw) and the prophet
                    • sadly i eventually learned that i WASN'T an indian, i lost interest in being a garbage truck driver when i learned the full job description, and realized i would never be the prophet

                    • shut up. you could be the prophet
                    • how about we discuss these things over dinner?

                  • August 13
                    Jon Kirkland
                    • done and done, seeing as how you have the run of the land here, where and when?

                    • well, I do not have a car, how about you come to my place, and we can decide from there.
                    • whatever time this evening is best suited for you

                      Did you see it?
                      it was the part when I was all like "Hey..... Lets  discuss this over dinner

                      essentially, I was saying I'm available right now and I want dinner.

                      and the rest of the story is  kind of history from there.
                      ps. It is kind of embarrassing to read this facebook chat.... much less post it.... that's why I took out a large portion of the flirting. it was disgusting.

                      We went to the Jungle Cafe and it was delicious and I was awkward and you better believe it when I tell you that I spoke to the fish in the fishtank. I couldn't help it...... they were so cute and stupid looking. I also ordered a phillycheesesteak, shoutout to my beloved Chelsea! If there was one thing that I could eat forever and never grow weary of.... it would be the cheesesteak. Apparently this act also garnered respect in Jon's eyes because he was afraid I'd order a salad..... pfff.

                      The next weekend he picked me up from my second job at Petsmart. It was my first day "on the floor" so to speak. So I made him help me pick out a betta fish. We named him Cobalt, because cobalt is our element, my favorite color, and its elemental atomic mass is my lucky number... 27. I needed Cobalt because of my animal collecting habit I've mentioned previously.... and because we were suppose to go on a fishing date and IF I didn't catch a fish, I still wanted to be able to say that I brought one home that day. You could say that getting Cobalt was the first thing we did as a couple.

That date was wonderful... I managed to catch my first fish..... with Jon's help..... turns out that despite my romantic view of it, I really suck at fishing. Anyways, the catfish was this mutant creature from this manmade lake that is dyed blue to keep the rich, snobby picture happy with their picturesque view. I felt really bad for him, and we obviously couldn't eat him.... because he was a mutant.... so I named him Galileo and Jon helped me release him. On a sidenote.... CATFISH FEEL LIKE VELVET. Lady GaGa should try wearing a catfish outfit at the next red carpet event. I think it would be all the rage. Catfish also buzz and have these spurrs on the side of their fins and Galileo tried to kill me with them. It was absolutely terrifying.

Galileo also managed to b!%@# slap me.

You know that moment, when you catch a fish, and someone has a camera (that someone being Jon) and you say "TAKE MY PICTURE! TAKE MY PICTURE!" and then you hold the fish up to take the picture relatively close to you, and then the thing violently shakes as Jon presses the shutter button and the camera snaps at the perfect moment to catch your face tilted back from impact and shock and the fish still in midair in a perfect "J" curve?

well... here it is....
 you couldn't have asked for a better fish picture.....
it's okay though, because Galileo behaved himself for the next one.
gah. look at that hair.
You know you would really think I'd actually try to impress the guy I liked...

It's alright though, it was right after said event that Jon asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes.... despite the distance*, despite our wild hectic lives, despite school~ it was as if all that mattered in this world was he and I in our perfect universe.
*sidenote: Jon is from Yuma and at the time was going to school in Tucson.

The rest of the story includes sweet romantic overtures, driving to see one another (mostly on his part), working two jobs, and then one, meltdowns about school and future, and endless phonecalls.

We had kind of planned to get married about ten days into our courtship. He asked my Father for my hand in marriage. I guess he had mentioned that I was his goodly pearl of great price, (which I just mentioned he was in my last post and had no idea) and that he loved me with everything he had. Then he proposed (story coming to a blog near you ASAP). We were engaged in roughly a month.... and......... our engagement was to last six months, which is killing me.... less than three months to go. I should probably plan the wedding.....

Thursday, November 17, 2011

and they told me I was a baby......

"You are too young to get married."
"How well do you know him?"

"Marriage is hard."

"You are a child. Are you ready to have one?"

WHOA, whoa. Whoaaa. who said anything about babies?

these are just a few of the questions that I've had to face in the light of getting engaged. I totally thought marriage was all about the happily ever after. just kidding. Being an ADULT living on MY OWN has taught me SEVERAL things. 1. there are bills to pay 2. there will be fights 3. communication is key.

There was also all the awkward commentary from my guy friends who essentially said "congratulations.... but I wish it was me,"


does anyone know the proper response to that?

 I didn't think so either.
 So that is when you make a mental sidenote to never hangout again to avoid another awkward encounter.

or maybe you could tell them to grow a pair and they could have asked you  out and didn't. tough. that's life.

I'm going to tell you again, why I am getting married so young. I found someone who loves me despite myself. who loves me through my menstrual cycle. the acne. the tears. the ugly pants. the no-shower days/weeks. the tantrums. my obnoxious animal collecting habit. the no-shave-legs november, december, january, february, you get the point.... my disorganized self.

he wipes away my tears.
he holds me.
he whispers sweet things to me and means them.
I do not think he has actually ever said a mean thing about me..... though I have deserved it.
he supports me.
he thinks I'm smart. I prefer the term smarticle. whatevs.
he can build things.
he is a man's man.
he takes me fishing.
he admitted to secretly liking/bordering loving my bunnies (don't tell I told)

I have never known any man to be so selfless to me, why would I wait to see if I could "do better?"
because I can tell you right now....

I can't. 

I found a scripture that almost relates in Matthew (13:45-36)

Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: 
Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all he had, and bought it.

What is Jonathan, if not my pearl of great price? why would I not give up all I have for him?

Jonathan Payne Kirkland, I pledge to give up going on pointless dates with many different lesser suitors. I pledge to give up my broken heart over people who are not worth it. I pledge to love you for the ever after.  

Monday, November 7, 2011

"How is school going?".....................

This is perhaps one of the most awkward questions now that there is only like a month left of school.

"Uhmnn ya, I'm like... failing everything. Except for my online class. I'm totally passing with a D+ in that class.... I've got like... a month to fix everything, and save my scholarships. I'm working on probably 47 extra credit opportunities."

thats kind of the jumble that goes on in your head.

what really comes out of your mouth is:

"I'm doing really well."

then you turn around and ask them the same question.


that is all I have to say regarding this matter.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

life of a college student unfolded

6:30 wake up
6:45 leave apartment
7:00 arrive at school
7:30 log off facebook and do homework
8:20 finish conclusion of essay and socialize briefly in Institute building
8:30 begin Trek across campus
8:40 arrive in class early to claim position nearest to door exit
9:00 lecture begins
9:05 play fruit ninja
9:20 check facebook
9:30 text someone in my organic evolution class to see if homework was due
9:31 receive confirmation text that there was indeed homework
9:32 frantically begin doing said homework
10:10 finish assignment
10:15 lecture ends
10:16 bolt out the door and head back to the other side of campus
10:19 get hit by a bike because bikers are dumb, blind, and have spacial visualization problems, and forget that Kylie is a solid mass
10:25 reach other class
10:30 have notes out and actually pay attention~ because this class matters
11:15 lose resolve in trying to focus
11:16 fruit ninja
11:30 resume focus
11:35 facebook
11:45 lecture ends
12:00 miss lightrail
12:14 get on lightrail, sit across from one of those public transportation "gems"
12:24 get off at stop
12:25 cross street to get to work
12:26 get held hostage by Filbertos
12:38 be released by Filbertos with a burrito and horchata in hand
12:41 punch in time clock at work
12:42-5 highly classified work-related information
5:01 emerge from work a zombie
5.05 phonecall to beloved
5:15 homework party
5:17 conspire to murder physics
5:30 fall asleep
6:45 physics
10:00 contemplate school related suicide
10:01 decide on sleep instead
10:30 finally back at home, microwave pizza
10:32 eat pizza, burn tongue, put on pajamas
10:35 brush teeth whilst talking to significant other, make a reference to kissing
10:55 crawl into bed
11:01 realize that existence is really menial sometimes
11:02 comatose state, otherwise known as sleep

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Ladies, you are going to want to creep this.

so I'm getting married. You know, that thing that little girls are suppose to have been planning since they were four. They have their colors chosen, their favorite flowers, where they want to be married.... yada yada yada.... all that jazz. This girl? she didn't. All she knew was that she was going to be wearing a white dress (she might have secretly picked out that dress when she was in highschool, but considering how I'm failing in all the other wedding prep plans? I think we can call it even). Yet despite being 99% positive that the dress she had loved since highschool was the dress of her dreams, there were two things that were in the way....
1.) Kylie's dream dress cost.....lets just say... a car.
 2.) the model wearing the dress was really beautiful... Kylie did not look like the model... in fact, Kylie is a foot shorter than the model, which could make the dress look very.... different.

So what did we do? What every girl secretly wishes for. We went dress shopping and had a bridal consultant bring me dresses like I was a Bridezilla waiting to emerge.

Here we have Dress A: a lovely mermaid

Dress A has got that lovely "I'm a white beta fish." look.

Then we have Dress B, which I fondly call "Little bow peep" dress.
Has anyone seen my sheep?
No? no sheep sightings?
but I bet you didn't miss that hiney action.
BAMB. my behind.

This is Dress C: "The other bride's bridesmaids' favorite"

They said they had seen several girls try it on,
and I was the only one to successfully pull it off...
That Bride kind of looked like a bridezilla after they said that....
of course she had just tried on said dress.....

look!! I'd get lost in embellishments!

Then there was Dress D: this stereotypical one.
Don't get me wrong~ it IS lovely
But the top was so constrictive, I couldn't dance.....

Dress E! I call it the bust enhancer.
because it made my girls look AWESOME.
so I had to throw on a vail so you wouldn't just stare at them.

Dress F: as in Flapperesque.
I liked the odd organic/almost classic vintagey feel of it.
I probably would have made my bridesmaids dress like flappers
if I chose it

Dress G: It made me feel like a silky curtain.
especially because I was all pinned up in the back
.... just hang me on a clothesline....

Dress H: Swan princess
This dress was awesome
the pricetag? not so much

awesomeness.... from behind.

Finally, Dress I.
it was a classic number,
with a lovely train

But.... ultimately..... I did not go with any of these dresses.
They just reaffirmed my desire for my dream dress.
Which I tried on the next day, and it was perfection.
So now I have a dress. Don't worry, it will be temple worthy.
I'm going to get married on March 17th in the San Diego Temple at 9am.

so, which one is your favorite?
which one do you think was my runner up?

Also, if you want to be a gem (you do, because then I will invite you to my wedding and you will get to see my real dress) you will visit one of my other blogs here and leave it some love. like... a comment..... or some feedback... or the usual crap I beg you for.