Tuesday, January 17, 2012

This one is for all my stalkers~ holla atcha gurl.

I am a "working adult."

that means I am "responsible" and "timely" and "efficient" and all sorts of other lovely adjectives.

By working adult, I mean to say that I have a job that most people don't find until after they graduate, so I'm going to take you on a tour of what I do everyday.

My co-worker, Olivia, and I steal our manager's baby. (mostly Olivia, because she gets paid to steal Lily....they call it "babysitting")
I do filing LIKE A BOSS.
I get to wear fancy shoes. slacks. uncomfortable buttonups.
the whole Shabang.
I photocopy things. print. scan.
I've got this beast down.
I work wonders with the i-phone camera and promote our charity cabs.
Don't know what a charity cab is?
Well, I would tell you, but that would be too work intensive to me when someone else already wrote about it. click here if you really want to know, they are the tabs on the top.
This is Baldo, the mechanic/cab driver.
look at him, he is like a living relic of old Arizona.
I pretend like I'm overseeing media/advertisement processes,
Really, I'm just cold and taking pictures with my I-phone,
because everyone already  knows what they are doing.
I take numberous pictures of Lily, because I can.
I work with Brandy, who really is LIKE A BOSS.
I'm not at cool as she is, seriously, this woman signs contracts while breastfeeding.

..............and Lily.........
I think I'm a good photographer. what do you think?
Here are a few of our cab drivers. Yes, one of them is a dwarf, and he is cool, and he goes by "Giant." No, I have no idea how he reaches the pedals.
Sometimes I work with crazy people. Like this woman. who has a TV show. with a talking pinata. his name is poncho.... or something. oh, and apparently he is drunk a lot.
she is doing a segment on our company and our company takes her place to place (because her show is Destination Arizona, and she goes places.... with her drunk pinata...) Whatever. If you want to watch it, its aztv7 cable 13~ I have no idea what that means...... IS IT CHANNEL 7 or 13?!?!? But if you figure it out, its on Saturdays at 2:30. if you have nothing better to do.
I have my own phone line. where I take calls. and I have a picture of my cat.
Because I didn't want a picture of my family in case a weirdo falls in love with me and tries to kill them all.
I help find organizations to benefit, and last Thanksgiving we donated 30 turkeys.
(if you ever wanted to know what 30 turkeys looks like in a prius, now you have your answer)
I get to go to fun events like the AZ Urban Run to sit at a booth. Its awesome, I get to enjoy the festivities of a marathon, without having to run- my two favorite things! Also, I know these people, aren't they darling?
here is another sample of my photography and work together.
think I should go pro?
I have my own nerdy science nameplate.
Ms. Johnson, in elements from the periodic table form.
Sweet, but not for long; soon I will be upgrading to Mrs. Kirkland
I really enjoy taking pictures, I don't know if you gathered that...
So essentially my job is reading memos, creating memos, acting on memos, filing memos, calling about memos, calling to create memos, emailing memos, and taking pictures.
oh, and I write for this blog occasionally.
and that is kind of like my life.
Besides school. and planning a wedding.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I'm going to sit on my front porch and wait for the apocalypse.

And so another year has passed.

It felt like that magical moment of when you turned 18 and became an "adult"

oh wait.... there was nothing magical about that~ your molecular chemistry didn't change, people were still idiots, and you were still grounded.

We make such a big deal about January 1st being.... special~ the era of New Beginnings.

Here is the thing people, you don't need a new year to start over- you just need a new you, and by a new you I don't mean plastic surgery, or a diet, or a new wardrobe. I simply mean a perspective change on your behalf.... although if plastic surgery and dieting helps then by all means go for it.

This past year has been perhaps the hardest year in my whole life.

blah blah blah

this is where I say "woe is me" and tell you a bunch of sad things, but we all have sad things. So... I'm not going to revel in it, I'm just going to move on~ acknowledge, but not forget. Yet, all these experiences have made me stronger, have made me cling to live more fiercely. It makes me want to shake my fist and say "Bring it!" to who? I have no idea. But I'm getting married to my prince charming, and I've got a killer job as an executive assistant at Beyond Green and I'm going to get my degree and be amazing at whatever I do.

My resolutions? they are not New Years Resolutions, because if they were they wouldn't last to February. I call them.... Kylie's Resolutions.

Kylie's Resolutions

  1. I'm going to get in shape so I can wiggle my not so little pattokie into my glove sized dress. YES. I GAINED 25 POUNDS SINCE BEING ENGAGED.  you know why? because I'm happy, and when I'm happy I eat~ its what mormons do. thats why we are all so plump, because we are happy. Who doesn't love a good hearty feast? alright... you got me.... its because I'm lazy and I like taco bells XXL grilled stuffed burrito (with steak). ((but on a positive side note, I went from a B-cup, to a D-cup.... just a thought for you ladies to stew over~ breast implants? no, TACO BELL IS THE ANSWER))
  2. I'm going to limit myself to one soda a day, and then one a week, and then one a month, and then one on special occasions,because I care about my body and I know that if my body hates me, my body will tattle to my brain, and then my brain will turn on me, and I will subconciously hate myself
  3. I'm going to paint amazing artwork and sell it. because I've already been commissioned to do paintings and I'm a REAL artist and it makes me feel like a bad a$$
  4. I'm going to learn how to walk in heels with out bending my knees and having a hunched back and writhing in pain like everyone else, because thats how empowered women walk~ and I want to be an empowered woman.
  5. this picture makes me happy <3
    I'm going to be happy, because I can and the sun is shinning (still.... or we could just wait on the front porch for armagedeon and the sun to explode and cry about how we killed all the polar bears)
  6. I'm going to love more deeply, because if I love more deeply than there is no room for hate and if there is no room for hate.... my life will be about as perfect as it can get.
Bring it, New Year.