Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I'm going to sit on my front porch and wait for the apocalypse.

And so another year has passed.

It felt like that magical moment of when you turned 18 and became an "adult"

oh wait.... there was nothing magical about that~ your molecular chemistry didn't change, people were still idiots, and you were still grounded.

We make such a big deal about January 1st being.... special~ the era of New Beginnings.

Here is the thing people, you don't need a new year to start over- you just need a new you, and by a new you I don't mean plastic surgery, or a diet, or a new wardrobe. I simply mean a perspective change on your behalf.... although if plastic surgery and dieting helps then by all means go for it.

This past year has been perhaps the hardest year in my whole life.

blah blah blah

this is where I say "woe is me" and tell you a bunch of sad things, but we all have sad things. So... I'm not going to revel in it, I'm just going to move on~ acknowledge, but not forget. Yet, all these experiences have made me stronger, have made me cling to live more fiercely. It makes me want to shake my fist and say "Bring it!" to who? I have no idea. But I'm getting married to my prince charming, and I've got a killer job as an executive assistant at Beyond Green and I'm going to get my degree and be amazing at whatever I do.

My resolutions? they are not New Years Resolutions, because if they were they wouldn't last to February. I call them.... Kylie's Resolutions.

Kylie's Resolutions

  1. I'm going to get in shape so I can wiggle my not so little pattokie into my glove sized dress. YES. I GAINED 25 POUNDS SINCE BEING ENGAGED.  you know why? because I'm happy, and when I'm happy I eat~ its what mormons do. thats why we are all so plump, because we are happy. Who doesn't love a good hearty feast? alright... you got me.... its because I'm lazy and I like taco bells XXL grilled stuffed burrito (with steak). ((but on a positive side note, I went from a B-cup, to a D-cup.... just a thought for you ladies to stew over~ breast implants? no, TACO BELL IS THE ANSWER))
  2. I'm going to limit myself to one soda a day, and then one a week, and then one a month, and then one on special occasions,because I care about my body and I know that if my body hates me, my body will tattle to my brain, and then my brain will turn on me, and I will subconciously hate myself
  3. I'm going to paint amazing artwork and sell it. because I've already been commissioned to do paintings and I'm a REAL artist and it makes me feel like a bad a$$
  4. I'm going to learn how to walk in heels with out bending my knees and having a hunched back and writhing in pain like everyone else, because thats how empowered women walk~ and I want to be an empowered woman.
  5. this picture makes me happy <3
    I'm going to be happy, because I can and the sun is shinning (still.... or we could just wait on the front porch for armagedeon and the sun to explode and cry about how we killed all the polar bears)
  6. I'm going to love more deeply, because if I love more deeply than there is no room for hate and if there is no room for hate.... my life will be about as perfect as it can get.
Bring it, New Year.


  1. Love this. So many great things. Although, drinking less DPepp sounds very sad to me. Healthy, but sad.

  2. I was never grounded after I turned 18... :P

  3. LOVE YOU! and your blog posts.