Tuesday, December 20, 2011

"He said, I said, that He did in fact say what I said, when he said it" nonsense. The Story of Us

Once upon a time... I was having a bad day. So I called my friend Rees to rescue me from myself (and my house). Rees with his sidekick, Norman, came to do the only thing there is to do when life is a b%#@$ .... we went dumpster diving for krisy kreme donuts. It was a successful mission. I was wearing my friendship algorithm shirt from my beloved Chelsea (whom I love more than words can say, I lived with her and she was my best roommate. period) and my hideous orange cutoff sweatpants from Areopostale with my super sweet converse knockoffs that had my life quote on them. curious about my life quote? its from Lord of the Rings... I'm kind of insane about Lord of the Rings. I even took a class on it at ASU; Ents, Orcs, and Hobbits: Tolkien's Middle Earth Vikings. I highly recommend the class~ it is simply wonderful. Anyways, what I had written around my shoes was:

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

It is rather shoe appropriate, is it not?
Well then we went back to the house of Rees to enjoy our spoils... before they spoiled... and lo and behold upon our arrival, a stranger arrived at the very exact moment. Rees went to greet him and I simply stared. The stranger, who I later learned was a brother of Matt's, was no stranger at all. He looked at me and before I could let my subconscious find the socially appropriate way to say it...... I simply said "I know your face."
He gave me this really weirded out look, perplexed if you will. He stared at me for probably 5 minutes mulling it over in his mind, I could totally see the cogs turning.
Then I remembered, I had meet him as a wee little freshman in college on a hike in Palm Canyon. He handed me a hot dog after the hike, we exchanged maybe one or two sentences. It had nearly been two years since the hike. Kylie has an awesome memory.

ps. on an embarrassing sidenote, Matt got stuck on a canyon wall when trying to climb up it and lost his mancard and as his future sister I cannot in good conscious not let the world know.

Jon was down for the summer for work with his cousin Ryan who is a lovely person who I thought hated me, turns out he was just exhausted and I was wasting his sleep time. sorry Ryan.

So we talked half the night, this boy from Yuma named Jon, the group I initially came with, and me. I was myself. totally charming. hilarious. wonderful. etc. etc. Then I left.... and nothing really happened..... 
but then nothing happened after that either.

A few weeks went by... I wanted to go out, but instead I was too lethargic and boring so I logged on to my good ol' social network. I stumbled upon Jon.... on chat... so.... I 'chatted him up' and played the whole, I'm-really-cute-and-coy-and-charming. It totally worked. the conversation may have gone a little something like this:

*actually, it went exactly like this... I cut and past from my facebook inbox.

    • hey you
    • how is life?

  • August 13
    Jon Kirkland
    • hey yourself

    • I bet it is pretty spectacular since being ejected and surviving

  • August 13
    Jon Kirkland
    • it still is
    • i actually haqd this funny thought the other day when i was driving with a few other people that i might have escaped death like in final destiny, and that death would more than likely be trying to catch up with me
    • i warned them to ride with me at their own peril

    • haha I do like your sense of humor
    • I've never seen a final destiny.
    • However, I completely understand

      • August 13
        Jon Kirkland
        • i wouldn't recommend it...i only saw it because i worked at blimpies and during slow hours we would just watch the tv
        • you watch whatever comes on cable
        • plot" they should have died in a car accident but survived...and how death always gets whats his

        • I don't have time for tv, unfortunately. I also live in a household where 5 girls claim dominion over out two TVs. I'm pretty much screwed unless I want to watch 16 and pregnant

      • August 13
        Jon Kirkland
        • bahahaha
        • nice word play on "screwed" and "16 and pregnant"

        • and I thought you didn't notice....
        • are you back in Yuma?

          • August 13
            Jon Kirkland
            • nah, i stayed up at reec's and matt's to work tiull i have to go to school
            • i'm heading back sometime this weekend
            • and i'll touch and go in yuma and head to tucson

            • I wouldn't mind hanging out again, you seem like a pretty fly cat.

          • August 13
            Jon Kirkland
            • anything in mind?

            • nope. I'm far to easy going and decison making is hard for me

          • August 13
            Jon Kirkland
            • you too seem like quite the intriguing person

                • I'm almost like a man. mentality wise. that is why it is so easy to talk to me
                • don't worry, I held on to a few of my feminine traits

              • August 13
                Jon Kirkland
                • i hope you dont tke this wrong but if ever there was a chameleon of personas...you would take the title

                • hahaha
                • I'm not offended I get that alot
                • what personas have you seen

              • August 13
                Jon Kirkland
                • well theres the "one fo the guys" persona when everyone was talking, and then the " yeah but i'm very much a woman" persona
                • hold on i just got a call

                • okay.

                  BLAH BLAH BLAH more facebook flirting crap

                  then i made a move to be like "hey idiot. I want dinner."

                  • August 13
                    Jon Kirkland
                    • haha, when i was younger i wanted to be three things:
                    • an indian, a garbage truck driver ( get to use that claw) and the prophet
                    • sadly i eventually learned that i WASN'T an indian, i lost interest in being a garbage truck driver when i learned the full job description, and realized i would never be the prophet

                    • shut up. you could be the prophet
                    • how about we discuss these things over dinner?

                  • August 13
                    Jon Kirkland
                    • done and done, seeing as how you have the run of the land here, where and when?

                    • well, I do not have a car, how about you come to my place, and we can decide from there.
                    • whatever time this evening is best suited for you

                      Did you see it?
                      it was the part when I was all like "Hey..... Lets  discuss this over dinner

                      essentially, I was saying I'm available right now and I want dinner.

                      and the rest of the story is  kind of history from there.
                      ps. It is kind of embarrassing to read this facebook chat.... much less post it.... that's why I took out a large portion of the flirting. it was disgusting.

                      We went to the Jungle Cafe and it was delicious and I was awkward and you better believe it when I tell you that I spoke to the fish in the fishtank. I couldn't help it...... they were so cute and stupid looking. I also ordered a phillycheesesteak, shoutout to my beloved Chelsea! If there was one thing that I could eat forever and never grow weary of.... it would be the cheesesteak. Apparently this act also garnered respect in Jon's eyes because he was afraid I'd order a salad..... pfff.

                      The next weekend he picked me up from my second job at Petsmart. It was my first day "on the floor" so to speak. So I made him help me pick out a betta fish. We named him Cobalt, because cobalt is our element, my favorite color, and its elemental atomic mass is my lucky number... 27. I needed Cobalt because of my animal collecting habit I've mentioned previously.... and because we were suppose to go on a fishing date and IF I didn't catch a fish, I still wanted to be able to say that I brought one home that day. You could say that getting Cobalt was the first thing we did as a couple.

That date was wonderful... I managed to catch my first fish..... with Jon's help..... turns out that despite my romantic view of it, I really suck at fishing. Anyways, the catfish was this mutant creature from this manmade lake that is dyed blue to keep the rich, snobby picture happy with their picturesque view. I felt really bad for him, and we obviously couldn't eat him.... because he was a mutant.... so I named him Galileo and Jon helped me release him. On a sidenote.... CATFISH FEEL LIKE VELVET. Lady GaGa should try wearing a catfish outfit at the next red carpet event. I think it would be all the rage. Catfish also buzz and have these spurrs on the side of their fins and Galileo tried to kill me with them. It was absolutely terrifying.

Galileo also managed to b!%@# slap me.

You know that moment, when you catch a fish, and someone has a camera (that someone being Jon) and you say "TAKE MY PICTURE! TAKE MY PICTURE!" and then you hold the fish up to take the picture relatively close to you, and then the thing violently shakes as Jon presses the shutter button and the camera snaps at the perfect moment to catch your face tilted back from impact and shock and the fish still in midair in a perfect "J" curve?

well... here it is....
 you couldn't have asked for a better fish picture.....
it's okay though, because Galileo behaved himself for the next one.
gah. look at that hair.
You know you would really think I'd actually try to impress the guy I liked...

It's alright though, it was right after said event that Jon asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes.... despite the distance*, despite our wild hectic lives, despite school~ it was as if all that mattered in this world was he and I in our perfect universe.
*sidenote: Jon is from Yuma and at the time was going to school in Tucson.

The rest of the story includes sweet romantic overtures, driving to see one another (mostly on his part), working two jobs, and then one, meltdowns about school and future, and endless phonecalls.

We had kind of planned to get married about ten days into our courtship. He asked my Father for my hand in marriage. I guess he had mentioned that I was his goodly pearl of great price, (which I just mentioned he was in my last post and had no idea) and that he loved me with everything he had. Then he proposed (story coming to a blog near you ASAP). We were engaged in roughly a month.... and......... our engagement was to last six months, which is killing me.... less than three months to go. I should probably plan the wedding.....


  1. i flipping love you and cant wait to go to lunch with you tomorrow. well, in 8 hours. after i sleep. haha:) im happy for you kylieeeeeeeee

  2. You are so adorable. We need to get lunch before I leave!