Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I'm so vain.

Dear my beloved audience, this post has no  mention of Jon. Come back tomorrow, if you want to be regaled with tales of romance. What I am writing today, is about my human flaw. Vanity.

I'm an American girl, 'bout as vain as they come. I catch myself staring at myself in nearly any reflective surface, which is why I am a danger when I drive. Some of you may read this and may judge, but hey.... at least I'm honest, eh?

so I had an idea. A wonderful, physically altering kind of idea.

 As i looked in the mirror, I had but one thought.... 
you know these cheekbones aren't just for naught. 
I bet I could change my hair color to one less sought, 
and still my visage be hardly forgot.

(I think in poetry sometimes, essentially, I wanted to change my hair color because I have the facial structure for anything and my light coloration allows me to pull off literally any color)

and so, I went to the dark side.

 wallah! a myspace worthy picture in my mirror just so I could show you my phone case that features my favorite element (cobalt) that my beloved Jon got for me (tender)
 you needed an up close, slightly more terrifying picture
 so..... what do you think?
 do I pull off the bangs and the dark locks?
 do I look like Angelina Jolie? in the movie SALT?
Or perhaps Catherine Zeta Jones? in Zorro?
Or Rachael Weisz? in The Mummy? 
 you know you like it......
 especially when I do this stupid thing with my lips
 or give you my pitiful puppy eyes. like this ^
 or hold your gaze. like this one, which is exactly the same as
the above one, but I have less of a draining emotional effect,
you know, because my eyebrows aren't as furrowed?
 or when I look up all mischievous like.... 

 or do kissy lips, because everyone loves my thwacker.
 or do another myspace~esque shot.... because
 or smile really hideously.

 or do another stupid face, because I have MILLIONS of them
 or do a fish face
 or give you.... THIS look. its like a secret weapon
 ..... just don't tell me I remind you of 500 days of Summer.
she was a terrible person, and much more vain than myself

 I didn't actually dye my hair. I just colored my eyebrows.
you like?
 I wish my eyebrows were visible, I should color the all the time
look at the expression I'm able to acheive with eyebrows. 
I don't look perpetually perplexed.... glorious.
 you no like??
 what if I do... THIS^^^^
 I knew you'd like it. +1 to the dark side
 look its me being vain.
 I'm just so good at it....
 it really helps when you are this attractive.
 I'm so vain, I actually do think that song is about me.
BUT, I'm  okay with everything I've said. because its mostly sarcastic.
and medium truthful.
I might be the teensiest bit vain.


  1. Finally, someone who understands how hard it is to be good looking. Reflective surfaces are a serious problem.

  2. I love you BECAUSE you're ridiculous.