RANDOM

I AM A GOOD HOUSEWIFE.

case and point: exhibit A

homemade rolls.

ya.

I'm going to be fat forever because I make delicious food.

I get to dress my cat up in Jon's clothing when he is not home.

*this entire blog has no purpose but for you to look at my pictures and witty captions

Oh, my parents adopted three kittens whose mother was eaten by a pig.

aren't they darling?

I tried to steal one, but Jon refused to harbor a fugative.

speaking of Jon: doesn't he make a great Mexican?

So, this little kids made terrible lemonaide, and their cookies would have been better at being bricks for the great pyramids. curse them for being so adorable.

manipulation at its finest.

 I want a border collie.

SOMEONE ENABLE ME.

Are you stressed out?

Candles.

Bathtub.

its magical. go do it.

If you have ever seen Cake Boss or just want to feel like a master baker,

just put some little plastic quads on your sheet cake.

It's almost like you are a professional.

that awkward moment when your neighbor catches you in the dumpster pulling out snowboards...

and the next time you go outside.... they are in the dumpster.

I pulled these out of a dumpster. Aren't they an awesome find? Dumpster diving, For the Win.
It was rather awkward when I came out of my apartment to actually throw real trash away... and I saw my neighbor in the dumpster.... He was probably jealous of my marvelous finds.

This blog wouldn't be complete without me spamming it with photos of my cat.

Jon has taken to calling her "Madam Cat"

but he shortens it to "Dam Cat"

I live here.

It makes Arizona look like a barren wasteland.

These geese. are. so. mean.

They attacked Jon.

I thought it was funny.

Rocky Mountains.

BOOM.

Makin' a stew.

like a boss.

or a housewife.

a housewife is kind of like a boss......

I PET THESE BABY GEESE AND I LIVED TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

I seriously love Canadian Geese. 

Canadians?

I'm a little iffy about them.....

(that's a joke)

and here are more photos of geese for your viewing pleasure...

This is Mother Goose.

I took an artsy photograph of my new nail polish.

Cloud 9?

Timbleberry?

who wouldn't want those fabulously named colors on their digits?

IMPLEMENTING TRENDING SENSATION.

UPDATE: Jon's fire belly toads are doing fabulous.

above is Tonks (the molted one) and Hagrid (the giant brown one)

I am kind of in love.

The other two members of the crew:

Fang (the one in the middle) and Mad-eye (the bright green one on the far right missing his left hindfoot)

Harry Potter was such an appropriate name theme.

RIP Remus

REAL UPDATE.

I got a job! 

yay!

cash monies!

i'm a conformist.

I did it.

I made an etsy.

because its a website for artisians.

and I want to be associate with that word.

want to see it?

click here.

let me tell you something....

all the names are TAKEN.

even lewd names.

I  know.

I tried them all in a fit of rage.

seriously.

even asshole is taken.

this is on my shop. I made it. with my. bare. hands.

so then I had to be all unoriginal

and use my name....

kyliebkirkland.

but I still call my shop Ksquared.

actually, in my mind I see it like this

K²

I just love science so much.

This is also in my shop. I put it on my cat. you should look at the add. I think it looks lovely on her.

 So I haven't paid attention to my etsy until today...

but thats okay.

you should pay attention to it starting today also.

BE A CONFORMIST WITH ME.

These geese are not on my etsy... but I did take this picture. Isn't it just so sweet? I'm in love with Canadian geese.

check out these rad vintage earings. whoa, nelly. you be so stylin'

 right now my shop is kind of a menagerie.

I love it.

I have some vintage, some bridal, some accessories, some human hair paintbrushes (SAY WHAT???)

you know.

the typical oddities.

I love these. I really do. They make even me look elegant.

In addition to that, I am definitely going to be adding some baby gear, some pillows, and other awesome things.

because I'm holding my mom's sewing machine hostage for the summer.

Also hitting the etsy withing a matter of days:

wedding boquets.

What would you like to see hit my shop?

wait.

I love you.

do you know what that means?

it means if you are reading this, and you message me

or leave a comment below...

you are going to get a coupon code to use in my store.

say what?!?!?!

I know.

that's true love.

DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK PHAT?

According to urban dictionary, phat means "pretty hot and tempting."

So.... the question is... does your makeup make you look phat? or like a 12 year old discovering eyeshadow for the first time?

It summer, which means color is IN. It is time to try bold new looks and get our break on. However, it can be dangerous experimenting with color, so I thought I'd show you a few new looks to try.

(but that is going to be in the next blog, because I am a terrible person. and also lazy. but mostly because I need to keep you all coming back)

here is a picture of an adorable baby who might get lead-poisoning from chewing on this painted bench to make up for my lack of eyeshadow pictures.

Of course if you want a classy night on the town, the natural look is still a really great way to look chique.

I was lazy so I took a slightly-terrible-duck-faced self portrait. Even if you do a more natural eyeshadow to just accentuate your eyes, feel free to play with bright lipsticks... it's totally liberating. Also, liquid eye liner makes my lashline look more full VAVAVOOM

While we are at it, take a look at your nails. Are you a chewer? Do you have marks from being a hard working mom? Is the life of being a poor, malnuished college student starting to show?

What you need is a little feminising refresher. There is a reason why we see women at the nail salon on TV all the time, it truly is a luxury and a time for relaxation. Getting your nails can be expensive though; so invite some friends over and make a girl's time out of it, or perhaps consign your husband to do it like I do. I told Jon I wouldn't post pictures on facebook... but I said nothing about my blog. muahaha! What's trending in nails right now?

PAINTING MY NAILS. LIKE A BOSS

This quirky, all-your-nails-the-same-but-one is actually really flattering and fun. Jon loves it. It subliminally brings attention to that bling on your ring finger if that's the one you chose to offset (or it can be a hint-hint to that boy you are dating that you are in desperate need of some diamond lovin'). I personally really like the subtle color differentiation as opposed to stark contrast, but I did both for you and on different fingers so you can get a taste for it. The nice thing is that if you are detail challenged, this is a simple way to make your nails really nice without stickers, or (hard) self-detail. I personally can barely paint the nails on my left hand so me handpainting a flower design is really out of the question.

SEE? THE WHOLE ACCENTUATING ONE NAIL THING WORKS. LIKE MAGIC.

Alright, so you have the makeup and the nails down... what about the hair? Summer means hot and sweaty, which means that my hair makes me look frump-tacular most of the time. Thank heavens the messy bun is still in style. Vintage/modern hair is also really in right now. I recomment twisting the bangs and side hairs on both sides of the head and pulling the leftover bits into a messy bun that looks great straight or pulled to the side somewhat.

Just like my wedding hair.

I don't really know how to end a fashion blog, because I lied to you and I'm just pretending to be fashionable... so here is a picture of a border collie.

Because I aspire to be a crazy cat Lady...

Today, I feel like writing a post on someone who has been a very big support in my life: Cat.

Cat is our lovely tabby feline. She was adopted from a Petsmart charity and is eight years old.



 Originally, her name was Tasha, but Jon dubbed her Cat and that is the only thing she responds to, now. Her records indicate that she is half maincoon, which is why she is so large and wonderful.

Now, those of you who know Jon know that he is by no means a friend of cats; in fact, he is what I would even call a cat terrorizer. However, when I had my surgery and was down for a time, Jon didn't want me to be alone all day, so that is how I got Cat.

I also may have agreed to call our firstborn daughter after a pokemon. Eevee to be exact.

Eevee Ellen Kirkland.

EEK!

The ironic thing is that Cat absolutely adores Jon.

She lounges on his dirty clothes.

steps on his pillow.

sleeps on his side of the bed....





Jon won't admit it to other people, but methinks he has a soft spot for Cat.

I mean, really, look at that face; how could you not?

She plays fetch, supervises paintings, talks to you....

She is a complete snuggle buddy.



She also makes you feel so loved with her constant snuggling and her waiting by the door.

One of her favorite passtimes is to help me with homework and stalk people on facebook.

She also has an orange belly, I'm not sure why that should make you happy.... but it should....

Whedding, Smedding

I knew I was going to have a white dress.... and that is about all.

When I was younger, I wanted a zebra print wedding, then I wanted it to be a fall wedding so I could look like the goddess Demeter.

I want to steal everything about her.

As it turns out, neither of these plans worked; but that is okay~ if you look at the reception, it was still very me.

So, my family was in Snowflake, but everyone I knew were in Mesa/Tempe while everyone Jon knew were in Yuma. It was a bit of a debacle. I let Jon's family take care of the Yuma reception; but I had no idea what to do here, without the support of my family.

ADVICE I WISH I HAD: (srsly, if you are engaged/planning a wedding... read this)

1. you have to be able to move around and be in your wedding dress for longer than 5 minutes, plan accordingly. My dress was SO beautiful, but I couldn't breathe, I couldn't eat, it was stifling hot, and it weighed as much as a lead suit.

2. your wedding day will never be how you envisioned, just realize this and be prepared for it. Besides, what is really important is really the fact you are married.

3. no matter what a perfectionist you are, do not be in charge. If you are in charge, your wedding will be so ridiculously stressful

4. the biggest complaint I here is how people they had wished they spent a little more on a photographer, make sure it isn't something you regret.

5. make sure that your invitations don't get lost in the mail........... like mine............. whoops.

Alright, all seriousness aside, lets just look at my pictures, I already know that is your favorite.
Sooo, my colors were orange and cobalt blue~ sound odd? well, its not. it's FUNKY FRESH.

why those colors?

Well, I told you I had always wanted a fall wedding, so I get the one color that allowed a little more leadway on season that hardly anyone else used. Also, many of you don't know this, but Jon and I are really big science geeks and Cobalt just so happens to be our element.

It's my favorite color, the name of our first fish, my favorite element... etc. PLUS, it just so happens to be the complimentary color of orange. PERFECT.

I wanted to take the nerdy a step farther by getting married on a 27th, the atomic number of Cobalt, but none of the days were really working for us.... oh well.

Now, the Yuma reception was much different than the one in Mesa. The Yuma reception had a shabby chique style.

For centerpieces we cut strips of burlap and laid them out across the white table cloth, then we had a white pitcher that had a branch from a cumquat tree as well as vintage cobalt blue glass bottles.

Isnt it fabulous?

ps. if anyone wants the butterflies on my cake, I have extra I'm trying to get rid of.

also, there is no method to the posting of pictures.... I just know you like to look at my photography genius